...we all have them. Some of us have more then others. It's not unusual for some people to have a dozen back burners. At the moment I only have one. It's a back burner I have had for awhile. It's consistent, convenient and hot. It's on constant burn when needed. It's nice knowing that at any given moment when I am in town all I have to do is text him my desire to see him that night for dinner and as long as he is in town, it's on!
It usually starts with his assistant making reservations for us at the latest "IT" spot, a kiss on the lips,
"Hi, how have you been?, Good to see you again."
Sly glances across the table as his fingers graze mine over a candlelit table and untouched glasses of wine. We talk about life, my latest adventure, his latest films.
It's nice knowing my Back Burner is always there to burn when I need him most:
Latest date wasn't so great...call Tucker.
Relationship just ended...call Tucker.
Hungry...call Tucker.
Need a place to sleep and a body to keep me warm...call Tucker.
In New York...call Tucker.
In LA...call Tucker.
He always comes through. I must admit I've been kind of spoiled knowing I can fall back on him to fill the needs that aren't being met by the other men in my life or the occasional lack there of.
Healthy? Probably not, but then again there are worse things I could be doing to preoccupy my time. And besides, we like each other and we get along. Our relationship suits us.
I've always had a bit of a problem with commitment and so it's nice knowing that I can have a man when I need him and my freedom when I don't. Besides, it works well for him too.
Tucker has no desire to be in a relationship, he's committed to his work so we both get what we want without having to give more then we are willing and wanting to give.
When we first met at Club Tao in Vegas I was looking for a fun fling, no strings attached, that is exactly what I get from Tucker.
However, more and more lately I have become bored with the whole fling thing. Or at least it seems to be that way. Perhaps it's Tucker that I have become bored with. Not particularly him necessarily but our relationship. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I can now treat myself to fancy dinners and nice hotels, and my work keeps me surrounded by the glamor and wealth that made me in awe of Tucker in the first place or perhaps it is because of the mundane conversations we have every time we see each other.
Just the other day he asked me a question he's asked me every time we see each other for the past two years and I finally looked at him and said
'Our conversations would be more interesting if we didn't have the same one every time.'
He looked at me dumbfounded. I continued
'It's just that you ask me the same things . It would be nice if you actually paid attention and remembered the answers I gave you.'
You see, I know Tucker is an extremely intelligent man, but when it comes to women, he's not all that. He's a bit awkward and lacks charisma.
I will admit that he has become better at opening doors since we've met and makes a point of waiting so that I can walk in front of him and I love these gestures in a man. Tucker can be sweet and endearing and as a result part of me falsely believes that there is something more between us when in all actuality there is not. Not that there couldn't be more. In fact, I think we would be good with each other. However, we have set a precedence for our relationship and it is not one of commitment to each other. Nevertheless, we have become more then just a fling, we have become friends and in the end that is what keeps me wanting to see him. A familiar face, smile, laugh, ease, comfort. Truly, we have a relationship that others would envy. We each have and lead our own lives yet, when we are wanting to share our lives with someone else we have each other.
Most recently I began dating a ex again and so Tucker will once again return to the back burner, however I am faced with a rather complicated situation. My renewed boyfriend is following his dreams of getting into film. He wants to become a Director and is going back to college to get his Masters in Film. Stupidly,I told him I knew the hottest producer in Hollywood and that I would set up dinner for the two of them to meet so that hopefully Biddy, my renewed man, would have a very prominent IN into the movie industry. Unfortunately, now I am faced with the very uncomfortable realization that I will have to explain to each one of them how I happen to know the other.
'Hi Tucker, meet Biddy, my boyfriend that I just got back together with and I would really like you to take under your wing so that one day we will be flying in private jets just like you. Unfortunately, this mean that we won't be falling asleep in each others arms anymore, but should me and Biddy break up again, you know I will be calling you up for dinner and the Malibu Inn'
'Biddy, meet Tucker, the guy I have been dating for two years. Yes, we've slept together. No, you and I haven't. And yes, I started dating him again when you and I broke up, and yes, if we break up again I will most definitely find myself wrapped in his arms in his bed again.'
'have you boys decided what you're going to have for dinner?'
Yes, I can see it all so clearly now and I clearly see that there is no good way to introduce the two so I will simply have to ignore the fact that I made such a stupid suggestion. After all, I should only put myself in such an awkward situation if Biddy was my husband not simply a boyfriend that could very easily become my ex again. That would leave me with no back burner and an ex that was flying private without me. Bad, bad idea. I must learn to keep my mouth shut.
It's becoming all to obvious that I think and act like a dude "tell the girl whatever she wants to hear so that I can get laid tonight". I must learn how to get the guy back with simple wit and charm rather then making promises of fame by introducing him to my Back Burner.
And so the saga of my life continues as I dig deeper and deeper holes into my world so that eventually every person that I have encountered will meld into the other and I will no longer have to make decisions but rather grab a large spoon and dig into the mush pot of my life and enjoy each bite.
It usually starts with his assistant making reservations for us at the latest "IT" spot, a kiss on the lips,
"Hi, how have you been?, Good to see you again."
Sly glances across the table as his fingers graze mine over a candlelit table and untouched glasses of wine. We talk about life, my latest adventure, his latest films.
It's nice knowing my Back Burner is always there to burn when I need him most:
Latest date wasn't so great...call Tucker.
Relationship just ended...call Tucker.
Hungry...call Tucker.
Need a place to sleep and a body to keep me warm...call Tucker.
In New York...call Tucker.
In LA...call Tucker.
He always comes through. I must admit I've been kind of spoiled knowing I can fall back on him to fill the needs that aren't being met by the other men in my life or the occasional lack there of.
Healthy? Probably not, but then again there are worse things I could be doing to preoccupy my time. And besides, we like each other and we get along. Our relationship suits us.
I've always had a bit of a problem with commitment and so it's nice knowing that I can have a man when I need him and my freedom when I don't. Besides, it works well for him too.
Tucker has no desire to be in a relationship, he's committed to his work so we both get what we want without having to give more then we are willing and wanting to give.
When we first met at Club Tao in Vegas I was looking for a fun fling, no strings attached, that is exactly what I get from Tucker.
However, more and more lately I have become bored with the whole fling thing. Or at least it seems to be that way. Perhaps it's Tucker that I have become bored with. Not particularly him necessarily but our relationship. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I can now treat myself to fancy dinners and nice hotels, and my work keeps me surrounded by the glamor and wealth that made me in awe of Tucker in the first place or perhaps it is because of the mundane conversations we have every time we see each other.
Just the other day he asked me a question he's asked me every time we see each other for the past two years and I finally looked at him and said
'Our conversations would be more interesting if we didn't have the same one every time.'
He looked at me dumbfounded. I continued
'It's just that you ask me the same things . It would be nice if you actually paid attention and remembered the answers I gave you.'
You see, I know Tucker is an extremely intelligent man, but when it comes to women, he's not all that. He's a bit awkward and lacks charisma.
I will admit that he has become better at opening doors since we've met and makes a point of waiting so that I can walk in front of him and I love these gestures in a man. Tucker can be sweet and endearing and as a result part of me falsely believes that there is something more between us when in all actuality there is not. Not that there couldn't be more. In fact, I think we would be good with each other. However, we have set a precedence for our relationship and it is not one of commitment to each other. Nevertheless, we have become more then just a fling, we have become friends and in the end that is what keeps me wanting to see him. A familiar face, smile, laugh, ease, comfort. Truly, we have a relationship that others would envy. We each have and lead our own lives yet, when we are wanting to share our lives with someone else we have each other.
Most recently I began dating a ex again and so Tucker will once again return to the back burner, however I am faced with a rather complicated situation. My renewed boyfriend is following his dreams of getting into film. He wants to become a Director and is going back to college to get his Masters in Film. Stupidly,I told him I knew the hottest producer in Hollywood and that I would set up dinner for the two of them to meet so that hopefully Biddy, my renewed man, would have a very prominent IN into the movie industry. Unfortunately, now I am faced with the very uncomfortable realization that I will have to explain to each one of them how I happen to know the other.
'Hi Tucker, meet Biddy, my boyfriend that I just got back together with and I would really like you to take under your wing so that one day we will be flying in private jets just like you. Unfortunately, this mean that we won't be falling asleep in each others arms anymore, but should me and Biddy break up again, you know I will be calling you up for dinner and the Malibu Inn'
'Biddy, meet Tucker, the guy I have been dating for two years. Yes, we've slept together. No, you and I haven't. And yes, I started dating him again when you and I broke up, and yes, if we break up again I will most definitely find myself wrapped in his arms in his bed again.'
'have you boys decided what you're going to have for dinner?'
Yes, I can see it all so clearly now and I clearly see that there is no good way to introduce the two so I will simply have to ignore the fact that I made such a stupid suggestion. After all, I should only put myself in such an awkward situation if Biddy was my husband not simply a boyfriend that could very easily become my ex again. That would leave me with no back burner and an ex that was flying private without me. Bad, bad idea. I must learn to keep my mouth shut.
It's becoming all to obvious that I think and act like a dude "tell the girl whatever she wants to hear so that I can get laid tonight". I must learn how to get the guy back with simple wit and charm rather then making promises of fame by introducing him to my Back Burner.
And so the saga of my life continues as I dig deeper and deeper holes into my world so that eventually every person that I have encountered will meld into the other and I will no longer have to make decisions but rather grab a large spoon and dig into the mush pot of my life and enjoy each bite.
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